Lately I have seen people do some stupid and pretty uncalled for things. I read and see online things that are just wrong and I sit and think to myself why...why would somebody do that? It is sick, twisted and wrong. Many of these people should be ashamed of themselves. In 2009 I aspire not to be like these many people. It is a new year and starting from today I aspire to be my own person, a new person who strives not to be like these people we hear and see. Anyone who wants to live the lives they have go on ahead but I don't want to waste mine. Its a new year...its a new Rony...a better Rony. I admit in my past when I was younger I was a little bit wild. Weren't we all at that age? But now I am at the age where it's growing up time. Time to learn that life ain't a game to be thrown away and wasted. I am a new and better person..and I choose to live my life to the full.

Also lately I have been having weird feelings in my heart area. They are not any pains as such. Mainly my heart just feels like someone is squeezing it at times. i don't have problems breathing or anything so I don't know what the problem is. I have been sore all over lately with the back to gym training. I don't know what is going on? Can someone help me? I just hope it's not that bad :/

Also my thoughts and prayers go out to Alice's family after Alices granny passed away. May she rest in peace. I hope that Alice and her family can stay strong. Also I have just read Laura Kelso's latest entry and would like to say that my thoughts and prayers are also with her family. I know it must be a very tough time for them too and I hope that they can come together in this time of need. Laura your friends are praying for your family. Your aunt is in our minds.

Until next time people. Laters

We go through life regretting alot of things...mainly things we have done or things we wish we should of done. What even makes us do these things in the first place? Like surely if you know you're going to regret it later then why do it in the first place right? I've done many things throughout my life that I'm not exactly proud of and wish I could change round in an instant. They say things happen for a reason. Well recently I have been sitting back and thinking to myself what are the reasons for these things happening in my life? I mean to me they seem to do nothing but bring misery to me time and time again. That isn't exactly fun. It just plain sucks....basically God is trying to tell me at this rate life sucks...then you die. Or maybe I'm just not living life to the full like I should be...treating every day like its my last. Its fear more than anything that holds me back from taking risks in life. Ever since I was young I've always sat in constant shyness...the quiet one, too afraid to stand out among the crowd...the type of kid where if you walked into a classroom at school you'd see me in the corner with a book in my face to hide myself from answering the questions of the teacher. Seems like the more I shyed away from things it didn't help me...because instead of taken the risk and answering questions, standing out, getting myself noticed to help boost my confidence for the great world after school....instead of all that..I just hid away making my confidence fade further and further away. My lack of confidence has greatly effected me as I got older. If a new job comes up for me I shy away from it because I think I can't do this, I can't succeed at anything. If a course came up in tech I'd shy away from it too saying I don't need that to get a good job, I am happy with just how I am right now. But really am I happy with myself right now? Now I start to wonder....

I've decided maybe its time for a new lease in life. I've got friends going to uni and even great friends, who have helped me so much, are moving away. In life everything changes...I think its time I change too. Its times like these that make me realise my friends aren't going to be here forever..and neither am I. I don't want to be one of these people anymore who waste their life away because they are too afraid. The time for change is now...and with it comes new meaning to my life. To new beginnings...may we keep the old memories in our hearts and minds because they remind us of how much stronger we've become.

Rony!__[x]